Behind the Scenes, Books, changes, Family, fun, Happenings, Her Sudden Groom, I'm human too, I'm the victim of myself, Just for Fun, My own craziness, My readers rock!, Polls, Randomness, Real Life, Save me from myself!, Secrets of a Viscount, Swag, things that make me laugh, To Win His Wayward Wife, Why Me?!, Writing

Long time, no blog

For those of you who don’t know (or remember me :-p ) my name is Rose Gordon and once upon a time I wrote historical romance–mostly Regency-era.

Here’s a few visuals…

IMG_9757
Me at RT in Chicago 5 *gulp* years ago.

 

 

And when I wasn’t slaving away to write about unsuspecting fellows and their over-scandalous counterparts, I was on here blogging about nonsense like…

j-wglasses
Jezzie–the mannequin head my family and I pass around.

 

(The time I fell through the attic on Thanksgiving.)

 

(Crazy stuff I’ve found–and maybe bought…–at the fair or craft mall.)

I also shared on here about my failed attempts at crafts:

Held crazy votes:

 

Or shared stories about my kids:

(100 “signed by author” stickers, plus autograph for 100th day of school; and my kids fighting over a stuffed enema…)

So many of you supported me when I raised $10,000 for MS and looked like an idiot while doing it!

Let me share some seriously scandalous “swag” I’ve picked up at different conventions:

 

I had so much fun writing over 600 blog posts whether they were stories about the craziness in which I live, a man’s POV of my books, hosting contests and so much more. I have missed out on so much by not posting very consistently for the past three years. A fact I wish I could change–but some things aren’t things you post. Or at least not things *I* could ever post.

Many don’t know that about 3.5 years ago my world tilted on its axis when the happily-ever-after I believed I was living fell apart. I have gone through fire after fire since and in my own opinion, I think I’ve emerged a much different, and perhaps stronger person.

Am I ready to write romance novels again? No. Maybe one day, but not today.

Am I ready to start blogging about the craziness that I now face with boys who are 10 and 12 and have entered into their first year in public school? Oh, absolutely. (Funny sidetrack: on Halloween my kids left for the school bus 10 minutes earlier than they needed to. Why? Because they could and I was in the shower and couldn’t tell them, “Oh, hell no.” When I got out of the shower, I noticed I had received about 5 texts from my kids. “Mom, we’ve been down here for 5 minutes and haven’t seen a single bus. I don’t think they’re having school today. You know, Halloween is a holiday.” Oh, my poor kids who’ve always been in a church school or heaven help me homeschooled for an overwhelming year. I wrote back: “Wait for the bus. You left 10 minutes early. The bus doesn’t even get there until 7:40 and you usually leave at 7:30. Writing me at 7:25 to tell me you haven’t seen the bus and you think there’s no school in observance of Halloween will be posted to Facebook if you two argue when you get home tonight. 😀 Love ya!”)

So, if you’re up to following my blog to follow more about me and my shenanigans, my crazy parenting, unusual finds, ridiculous signs, craft fails, wild tales and other craziness where truth is stranger than fiction, than please stay tuned and subscribed. (After all, it IS called Rose Unscripted.)

If you followed my blog as a means to keep up with my writing progress and being informed of new books only, I will by no means be disappointed if you’d like to unsubscribe.

Again, I want to thank you all. Whether you’ve been a follower since I started blogging in Feb. 2011 or have subscribed recently, it doesn’t matter, I just appreciate that you’ve enjoyed my work enough to sign up!

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funny, Randomness, things that make me laugh

Am I the only one…

Am I the only one who loves the pictures passed around Facebook and goes so far as to take screenshots of them to keep them in the photo album on my phone?!

If you’re one who is just as odd as I am, let me pass on a few that I’ve seen just today that you might enjoy.

If you’re not one of the weirdos from this tribe, maybe these will inspire you to join!

Screen Shot 2015-09-13 at 6.49.27 PM

I am CONSTANTLY telling my husband this. Finally, someone else gets it!

Screen Shot 2015-09-13 at 6.50.46 PM

I didn’t snap this picture, but I had this awkward situation more than once when I was homeschooling. (For anyone who doesn’t know, homeschooling parents–and authors–are the primary funders of all postal/parcel systems.)

Screen Shot 2015-09-13 at 6.48.36 PM

I laughed until I almost cried when I saw this. I couldn’t decide what stumped me more: 1. Who does this to their animal? 2. Where does someone get a pattern for such an outfit…or did the owner make it up on his/her own? One of life’s little mysteries, to be sure.

Screen Shot 2015-09-13 at 6.49.06 PM

This is my biggest problem. I buy all these fruits and vegetables with the intentions of using them and end up choking on my nonstop dry heaves and scooping out a slimy, black gelatinous blobs from the bottom of my refridgerator drawers . (Talk about things that make ya gag!)

And finally…

Screen Shot 2015-09-13 at 6.49.15 PM

Amen!!! I have no other words to add to this.

I hope these made you grin as much as I did! Have a good week and feel free to share some of your favorites in the comments section.

I'm the victim of myself, Just for Fun, My own craziness, Randomness

Is this just weird or what?

Perhaps this would have been better titled: Am I just weird, or what? LOL

This year, I was actually LOOKING FORWARD to the time change!

Why?

It’s a simple story, really…

Last year we bought a new-to-us car that instead of having a digital clock above the radio, it has an analog clock on the dashboard (strange, I know).

When the time change happened and we “fell back”, my clock suddenly became an hour ahead. Try as I might, I couldn’t fix it.

I touched here and pressed there. I spun this and twisted that. I pushed… I pulled… Nothing.

I got out the USB that contained a PDF of our owner’s manual. I couldn’t find it. I found out how to reset the mileage after the oil was changed and how to unlock the doors (this is a different story for a different day…actually more like 100 stories as I didn’t know how to unlock the car from the inside without opening a door…). I even learned how to turn of the sensor that made the lights “glow” in the dark.

But I couldn’t figure out how to change the clock.

So I went to YouTube.

All sorts of videos on how to change the headlamp or a trick involving the tire jack. But NOTHING about the clock.

For months I had to drive around and remember that I wasn’t running late, the clock was off.

Bob would get in the car and say, “Wow, that was a long movie.” Or “I didn’t realize the pastor had preached that long.” Of course, I’d chuckle–and never tell him how many times I’d done that, or that the clock was fast.

But it was darned annoying and as much as I missed my hour of sleep yesterday morning. I got in my car to take my kids to school today with the peace of mind that I was RIGHT ON TIME.

Does this make me weird or what?

I hope all of you who observe the time change are adjusting well. I know I am. I was finally able to go to sleep last night and sleep well knowing that my clock would be right on time when I went to leave today!

Contests, Guest Post, Happenings, Just for Fun

Test Your Knowledge of Regency Slang

Today, I am over visiting Donna at Girl Who Reads and giving everyone a quiz! A quiz over how well you know your Regency Cant.

And of course, there’s a prize for you and (a friend):

Signed postcard, screen cleaner, pen, lip balm, USB drive and bandage dispenser.
Signed postcard, screen cleaner, pen, lip balm, USB drive and bandage dispenser.

 

 

Click here to go test your knowledge!

*Open Internationally.

**Winner will receive two of bags of swag.

***Entries will be collected until 3-11-13

****Answers do NOT have to be correct to win, just have fun.

*****My apologies to anyone who has seen this quiz before, it’s an older version of my newsletter…but you can still enter again!

Books, Characters, Edits from Bob, Just for Fun, My own craziness, Updates

Bob’s commentary on His Jilted Bride

A little more than a year ago, I was looking for something to post about. I know that’s hard to believe because my posts are always so well thought-out and come so frequently (if only), but there you have it. I was in need of something to say to fill a day and decided to post my husband’s wonderful assessment of my upcoming book (which at the time was Her Secondhand Groom).

I’ve tried to keep the tradition going with of the subsequent books and today, I will share Bob’s oh-so-necessary (and amusing) commentary about His Jilted Bride.

  • A vivid scene diminished by one word: brown. What color brown? Chocolate brown? Mud Brown? (another suggestion of brown that I won’t list, but you can use your imagination for).  As it turns out, I did change it, to mud brown. To which one of my crit gals complained saying, “Mud brown? I was hoping for something a bit more complimentary!” Sorry, but for an eight-year-old boy, mud brown is probably as complimentary as it’s going to get.
  • Eh, why does Alex have to be reading a book about biology? What about astrophysics? Maybe because astrophysics wasn’t introduced as a science for another 85 years?
  • Oh my! This is a little much for a five-year-old. A warm, wet kiss, makes her sound like a five-year-old prostitute. Maybe a sloppy, wet one. I bow to my husband’s immature mind. Of course he’d know how an eight-year-old boy would term a kiss better than I.
  • Amusing while confusing at the same time. 
  • Ha Ha, very funny. Can you sense the sarcasm?
  • And are they…large breasts? Typical man!
  • Is this a word? Yes, unmarriageable is a word, no matter how much the spellcheck argues it.
  • Too many periods. While he’s speaking in terms of a punctuation error I made, I had to laugh at the irony…
  • And the moral of this story is don’t —– (I’ll have to fill this one in later!)
  • Men do not speak in this fashion, especially about THAT! Oh yes, they do!
  • There was never a more untrue statement. I lie to you every day for the better. Oh, really?
  • Another moral in this fine tale! Yep, chock full of them.
  • Oh my! Scandalous! I try. I do have a reputation to uphold you know.
  • He squeezed her tush. Bottom seems so juvenile. No comment.
  • I’d laugh, but I know someone else like that…
  • I wonder where you got this from? Well, since you asked…it was you, my dear!
  • Delete.
  • You need your asterisks
  • Starfish! It’s an inside joke, I’m afraid, but the joke is in the book, in a way.
  • ?
  • What a lovely image this invokes. After reading the sentence, I’m sure it does invoke a lovely image for a man–it did for Elijah, too, or it wouldn’t be included in his thoughts.
  • Skin. Flesh makes me think of Hannibal.
  • I thought she was going to spit on them!
  • And she died right then after a heavy man collapsed on her after sex. I think I’ll try this next time. 
  • Expose their phalanges? How improper!
  • Mrs. Gordon, this needs to change. You need to protect the identity of your fallen spiders! Sorry, Mr. Fuzzinelli, you’ve been outed.
  • Ixnay.
  • And just where is that? Above her bosom? You should say it that way.
  • Maybe you should rethink bringing a mollusk into your bedroom scene. Alrighty then. No more moving at a snail’s pace. Ever.
  • News Headline: Woman is Collapsed Upon after Intercourse, Paramedics Unable to Resuscitate her. Cause of death:  suffocation. 
  • You corn dog. Guess the ending wasn’t as butch and manly as he’d hoped?

That’s all for today… I’ll be back later the the week with that one word that causes so much debate around here: Prologue!

Contests

10th Day of Christmas: What’s on the menu???

The winner of yesterday’s signed paperback is: Marlena!

12 Days of Christmas

Today’s random question for a chance to win a $100 gift card to Amazon or Barnes & Noble (and to get your name in the drawing for the Grand Prize) is:

What are you having for the big meal? Whether you do the big meal on the 24th or 25th, it doesn’t matter, just what are you making or being made to eat if you’re not the one cooking?

I have no idea what I’ll be eating on either of those days. We’re eating on Christmas Eve with my father-in-law and his wife’s family, then eating on Christmas day with his mother and her family. All I know is I’m supposed to bring a vegetarian loaf to each and that’s all I know.

So for as uninteresting as my menu is, I thought instead I’d post a Christmastime Regency recipe:

  • The English Royal Family’s Christmas Pudding
    • 1 ¼ ob. Suet 1 lb. Demerara (cane) sugar
    • 1 lb. Raisins 1 lb. Sultanas
    • 4 oz. Citron peel 4 oz. Candied peel
    • 1 tsp. Mixed spice ½ tsp. Nutmeg
    • 1 lb. Breadcrumbs ½ lb. Sifted flour
    • 1 lb. Eggs (weighed in their shells)
    • 1 wineglassful brandy
    • ½ pint of milk
    • Prepare all ingredients, well whip the eggs, add to milk, and thoroughly mix. Let stand for 12 hours in a cool place. Add brandy and put into well-greased basins, boil 8 hours or longer. Serves 20 – 28 people.

What’s on your menu?

If you’d rather not comment, not to worry there are other ways to enter and more prizes to win:

*Share my post on Facebook and you’ll be entered into a drawing on the 25th for a $150 gift card from Amazon or Barnes & Noble.  Each day you share, you’ll get an entry, for a possible 11 entries. (You must share my original post on Facebook not using the social share at the bottom of this post, otherwise there is no way to track it–sorry.) If the post is not coming up in your newsfeed, follow this link, it should be the top story.

*Like my post on Facebook Like the post and you’ll be entered into a drawing on the 25th for an entire signed series of my books. Each day you like, you’ll get an entry, for a possible 11 entries. You’ll have to like my original post on Facebook not using the social share at the bottom of this post, otherwise there is no way to track it–sorry.) If the post is not coming up in your newsfeed, follow this link, it should be the top story.

*Like me on Facebook–Find me here,http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rose-Gordon-historical-romance-author/178033968907233 and like my page. On the 25th I’ll select seven random people to receive a signed paperback from my back list, winner’s choice.

**Giveaway is opened internationally.

 For more in-depth details, please see the page at the top of the website titled 12 Days of Christmas Giveaway.
Contests, I'm the victim of myself, Just for Fun, My own craziness

9th Day of Christmas–Accidental injuries, anyone?

The winner of yesterday’s signed paperback is: Lisa W!

12 Days of Christmas

Today’s random question for a chance to win a signed book from my backlist (and to get your name in the drawing for the Grand Prize) is:

Have you ever accidentally injured yourself around Christmastime? And don’t say you haven’t we all have, and now’s your chance to tell us all about it! (Disclaimer, you can share your mishap, but don’t expect an abundance of sympathy!)

I once heard a radio trivia question that asked what accounted for the highest percentage of trips to the emergency room around Christmastime. People guessed hanging up lights or being assaulted at the store. But the answer was clamshell packages. You know those packages you buy that have the item encased in a huge plastic bubble that you have to use a knife, a pair of scissors, and a razor blade to open? Yeah, those. Apparently lots of stitches happen around Christmastime due to these little jewels.

So when Bob and I shop for our kids, we’ll try to veto the other’s choice of toy by saying, “Beware of the clamshell packaging!”

To this end, and just because we didn’t find anything we really wanted that was packaged that way, we won’t have to help our boys open any clamshell packages this year. Therefore we thought we were out of the woods…

But we didn’t count on me being an idiot…

Last night I was outside in the frigid night’s air getting something out of my car (I can’t even remember now thanks to the events that happened next). In my hurry to close the door and get inside, I grabbed hold of the door–not the handle, nor just placing the flat of my hand on the outside of the door, but actually holding the edge. Then, with all my might, I slammed it. Of course it didn’t latch because my finger was wedged between the door and the metal frame of the door! Very carefully, I opened the door to reveal a mangle finger. As it would happen, I broke the middle bone in my index finger and I have no one to blame but myself.

So, what’s your story? When have you ever been the victim of yourself? 

If you’d rather not comment, not to worry there are other ways to enter and more prizes to win:

*Share my post on Facebook and you’ll be entered into a drawing on the 25th for a $150 gift card from Amazon or Barnes & Noble.  Each day you share, you’ll get an entry, for a possible 11 entries. (You must share my original post on Facebook not using the social share at the bottom of this post, otherwise there is no way to track it–sorry.) If the post is not coming up in your newsfeed, follow this link, it should be the top story.

*Like my post on Facebook Like the post and you’ll be entered into a drawing on the 25th for an entire signed series of my books. Each day you like, you’ll get an entry, for a possible 11 entries. You’ll have to like my original post on Facebook not using the social share at the bottom of this post, otherwise there is no way to track it–sorry.) If the post is not coming up in your newsfeed, follow this link, it should be the top story.

*Like me on Facebook–Find me here,http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rose-Gordon-historical-romance-author/178033968907233 and like my page. On the 25th I’ll select seven random people to receive a signed paperback from my back list, winner’s choice.

**Giveaway is opened internationally.

 For more in-depth details, please see the page at the top of the website titled 12 Days of Christmas Giveaway.