On Tuesday on Facebook I held my own vote. And the results are in.
In the question of:
With 68% of the vote…BOOTS!
In the life-changing matter of:
By a landslide of 89%—Pie (I didn’t vote, but I was with the two others who chose cake!)
Now, for the second hardest question of the day:
A little background on this, by the dictionary’s definition, yes, a hotdog is considered a type of sandwich. However, the wiener council (which I didn’t even know existed until recently) says NO! A hotdog is so much more than a sandwich.
In our poll–exactly 66.7% said…NO!!!! The Wiener Council will love that. 😀
Now for the MOST important question of the day:
The winner was…a TIE between the two most opposite heroes I’ve written: Gateway and Alex. So then it came time for a tie breaker, and the official winner is..
Congratulations to him he and his swell head will continue to reign as my most beloved hero–
And my crown?
Crown? What crown?
Don’t I get a crown for winning?
No, you should go away.
Go away? Is that any way to treat your most beloved hero?
*sighs* Ladies, it appears as if he cannot be stopped, so please welcome Benjamin Collins, Duke of Gateway to the stage to make a speech.
Make a speech?
Yes, you want to be seen or shall we say heard–so you can make a speech. Go on then. Here’s your microphone.
And a podium?
I doubt you’d even use it if you had one.
Likely not. All right. *clears throat and taps on the microphone* Hear ye, hear ye!
–Benjamin, please stop being self-important.
GATEWAY: *turns to me, lips pursed* You brought my wife here?
ROSE: Yes, I thought it was the only way to keep a handle on you. *waves Madison over to sit next to me* Now, as you were saying?
GATEWAY *deep sigh* I might get in trouble for this later, but truly how often does one get to accept such an award?
GATEWAY: Yes, my love?
MADISON: Behave yourself.
GATEWAY: I will. *winks* Ladies, Gents and anyone else in listening distance–
ROSE: You do know this is an acceptance speech?
GATEWAY; Yes, I just want to make sure they’re listening. *turns back to his microphone* Ladies, I want to thank you all for your votes, support and loving me–
MADISON: Loving you? Should you really be thanking other women for loving you?
GATEWAY: They can love me all they want, but I still love you. Only you. Now can I finish this? Rose needs to go make dinner.
ROSE: Make dinner? It’s barely 12:30– If you think you’re going to talk THAT long, you’re-
GATEWAY: It won’t take that long if you two would stop interrupting me.
ROSE: You have two minutes to say your piece.
GATEWAY: *smirks* Well, ladies, it could all be summed up with three words: I beat Andrew–who, by the way, didn’t get a single vote. No, my closest completion was Alex! But I shall refrain from being so childish.
MADISON: *mutters under her breath* That’ll be a first.
GATEWAY: Pardon, did you say something?
MADISON: *waves him off* Nothing. Are you done?
GATEWAY: No, I think my two minutes should restart.
ROSE: No, I think you’re done. You’ve thanked your loyal readers and gloated that you beat Andrew.
GATEWAY: I didn’t gloat! Gloating would have been, I beat Andrew. I beat Andrew. I beat Andrew. I beat Andrew. I didn’t do that.
ROSE: You practically did. Now, thank you for your time–
GATEWAY: Ladies, I am so humbled to have the honor to have been awarded such a high honor. I know I’m hard to love, but I thank you all for loving me.
MADISON: Perfect, Benjamin, let’s go before you choke on your own tongue.
GATEWAY: Wait, isn’t there a prize?
ROSE: No. Are you six?
GATEWAY: *frowns* No, but even winners at award shows get statuettes…
GATEWAY: Well, that’s nice, but you know the olympians get medals…
GATEWAY: Hmmm. What about a trophy?
ROSE: Is a statuette wearing a medal not enough?
GATEWAY: No, I think a trophy is in order, too.
GATEWAY: There, that’s better.
ROSE: What did you write on that?
GATEWAY: Madison, love, are you ready to go?
ROSE: You’re impossible.
GATEWAY: That’s why I’m the favorite.
I’m so glad he has a woman who can manage him. On behalf of the Duke of Incorrigible and myself, I want to thank everyone who participated in the polls. Gateway was one of my favorites right from the start. I just love him and I’m so touched to so many others did, too.
If you didn’t get a chance to cast a vote and would like to add your voice to the comments below, I have two more highly important matters that need to be decided but we ran out of time on Tuesday.
Feel free to cast your vote in the comments!