Behind the Scenes, draft file, Family, fun, funny, My readers rock!, Randomness, things that make me laugh, Why Me?!, Writing

Visiting the “Draft” file…

I spent a good part of Monday afternoon reading through the 123 (no exaggeration!) blog posts I’ve drafted but haven’t published. Some turned out to be great stories that I’ll publish with a word of warning that the content came from the draft file. Then there were several wonderful titles that got me super excited to read what in the world I’d blogged about, only to open the post and see nothing, or just a few words or sentences. So, because misery loves company, I’m going to share some of these titles with you all so you can all be like me and wonder “where was that going?!”.

  • Yard Sales vs. Rose Gordon (The only line in the post said: Yard sales for the win!)
  • Backhanded Compliments (The only line in this post read: No matter who you are, we’ve all received one of these little jewels…)
  • Let it Go! (Not the song)
  • My Favorite Things (Yes, because you ALL have been waiting with bated breath for what I love. As if I’m Oprah. Good grief.)
  • In My Former Life (Actually, this one has a LOT of content. I write it when I was 27–I’m now 31–but I might post this one one day when I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel.)
  • From the Marshmallow Man to a Beast! What’s a mother to do?! (This was from two years ago when my son started wrestling at school and got his butt handed to him. That didn’t last too long. 😉 )
  • Candid, Blunt and…well, perhaps a little TMI
  • Didja Know #10 the definition of a Nincompoop
  • Wicked Wednesday!
  • Didja Know Facts about Humans (Contrary to the cute kid in Jerry McGuire, the human head weighs approximate 12 pounds.)
  • The Truth about Passions of a Gentleman (Ooooh, so many things this post could have contained, but probably didn’t.)
  • Wanna be my friend? Probably not.
  • Looking into 2015
  • Sometimes I wonder…
  • A Day in the Life: Humble Pie (I dearly wish I’d written something–ANYTHING on this page to know what I was talking about because I am quite certain that since the date I wrote that heading I’ve eaten a lot more humble pie.)
  • Ten Year Reunion?
  • Unspoken, but not unimportant, rules among authors
  • End-of-Year questions for teachers and moms (final plea as homeroom mom). This was the year an alien had inhabited my body and told the teacher I’d be delighted to be the homeroom mom for a gaggle of kindergarteners. 
  • Research
  • RT Anyone?
  • Kids + Outside = Resistance, “no fun”, and a tinge of whining! Why, oh why?
  • Awkward confession…totally off topic.
  • Seeking suggestions.
  • I need help… (yes, yes I did and still do!)
  • A writer’s confessional
  • A writer’s biggest reward
  • Let’s talk spam, and I don’t mean food.
  • No title
  • Advice on friends from Edward Banks
  • Poor Bob
  • A candid discussion and a few revelations
  • Come laugh at me!
  • Authors are human, too. At least this one.
  • Writerly Woes
  • Oh. My.
  • Scandalized. (Another Florida escapade.)
  • An Impromptu poll (AKA I need help again.)
  • Inside joke for those who’ve read Intentions of the Earl (I’d love to share with you all where I was going with this, but alas, the contents were blank.)
  • Oh help us all…I’ve been asked to act as host.
  • Drawing lines–Warning Touchy Subject
  • It’s tough being a writer… (So tough, I seemed to have given up on this topic after writing the title.)
  • In regards to my books, please note:
  • Guilty pleasures
  • A hot date
  • 10 things you probably don’t know about me (Seeing as how I only got to #5, I’m going to take that as a hint that I’m pretty dang boring.)
  • Hard lesson: old manuscript copies do not make suitable scrap paper.
  • Not a fairytale wedding
  • Do romance novelists have a more stellar romantic life than everyone else? (I can answer that without a post: no.)
  • Ever wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole?
  • Honest chat
  • Perceptions
  • Men can be such babies
  • Henry and June, Part 2
  • Right on!
  • Unconventional
  • Where did you come up with THAT?!

 

There were many other fully written blog posts that might require a little polishing and posting. Turns out I blogged more than I originally thought I had. 😀

 

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Behind the Scenes, Books, changes, Family, fun, Happenings, Her Sudden Groom, I'm human too, I'm the victim of myself, Just for Fun, My own craziness, My readers rock!, Polls, Randomness, Real Life, Save me from myself!, Secrets of a Viscount, Swag, things that make me laugh, To Win His Wayward Wife, Why Me?!, Writing

Long time, no blog

For those of you who don’t know (or remember me :-p ) my name is Rose Gordon and once upon a time I wrote historical romance–mostly Regency-era.

Here’s a few visuals…

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Me at RT in Chicago 5 *gulp* years ago.

 

 

And when I wasn’t slaving away to write about unsuspecting fellows and their over-scandalous counterparts, I was on here blogging about nonsense like…

j-wglasses
Jezzie–the mannequin head my family and I pass around.

 

(The time I fell through the attic on Thanksgiving.)

 

(Crazy stuff I’ve found–and maybe bought…–at the fair or craft mall.)

I also shared on here about my failed attempts at crafts:

Held crazy votes:

 

Or shared stories about my kids:

(100 “signed by author” stickers, plus autograph for 100th day of school; and my kids fighting over a stuffed enema…)

So many of you supported me when I raised $10,000 for MS and looked like an idiot while doing it!

Let me share some seriously scandalous “swag” I’ve picked up at different conventions:

 

I had so much fun writing over 600 blog posts whether they were stories about the craziness in which I live, a man’s POV of my books, hosting contests and so much more. I have missed out on so much by not posting very consistently for the past three years. A fact I wish I could change–but some things aren’t things you post. Or at least not things *I* could ever post.

Many don’t know that about 3.5 years ago my world tilted on its axis when the happily-ever-after I believed I was living fell apart. I have gone through fire after fire since and in my own opinion, I think I’ve emerged a much different, and perhaps stronger person.

Am I ready to write romance novels again? No. Maybe one day, but not today.

Am I ready to start blogging about the craziness that I now face with boys who are 10 and 12 and have entered into their first year in public school? Oh, absolutely. (Funny sidetrack: on Halloween my kids left for the school bus 10 minutes earlier than they needed to. Why? Because they could and I was in the shower and couldn’t tell them, “Oh, hell no.” When I got out of the shower, I noticed I had received about 5 texts from my kids. “Mom, we’ve been down here for 5 minutes and haven’t seen a single bus. I don’t think they’re having school today. You know, Halloween is a holiday.” Oh, my poor kids who’ve always been in a church school or heaven help me homeschooled for an overwhelming year. I wrote back: “Wait for the bus. You left 10 minutes early. The bus doesn’t even get there until 7:40 and you usually leave at 7:30. Writing me at 7:25 to tell me you haven’t seen the bus and you think there’s no school in observance of Halloween will be posted to Facebook if you two argue when you get home tonight. 😀 Love ya!”)

So, if you’re up to following my blog to follow more about me and my shenanigans, my crazy parenting, unusual finds, ridiculous signs, craft fails, wild tales and other craziness where truth is stranger than fiction, than please stay tuned and subscribed. (After all, it IS called Rose Unscripted.)

If you followed my blog as a means to keep up with my writing progress and being informed of new books only, I will by no means be disappointed if you’d like to unsubscribe.

Again, I want to thank you all. Whether you’ve been a follower since I started blogging in Feb. 2011 or have subscribed recently, it doesn’t matter, I just appreciate that you’ve enjoyed my work enough to sign up!

fun, My own craziness, Randomness, things that make me laugh, Why Me?!

A new career aspiration for school kids! 

I can’t take credit for the following photo. It came across my newsfeed on Facebook and I about died laughing.

  
Now we all know it happens. I have about 60 friends on my personal Facebook page–you know where I’ll post pictures of my kids and have the security so tight nobody can see squat. 

Of those 60 friends I have at least one friend who sells each of the following:

  • Essential oils–posts per day: minimum of 4–one for each way she used them that day. 
  • Mary K–posts per day: limited to 2x month when she’s ordering. 
  • Pampered Chef–posts per day: limited about one a month before an order  
  • Plexus–posts per day: 2, sometimes 3 one of which usually contains a picture of her daily “pink drink” either in a glass, or a new blender bottle or dumped in a slushie. 
  • Herbalife–posts per day: 2 minimum, 3 on a good day, and 5-6 on a very exciting day when someone lost two pounds!!!
  • It Works body wraps–post per day: countless!!! Last I looked it was hourly. As a bonus, this person uses all the little iPhone symbols and writes posts like this:

WHAT😱😱😱 the Bonuses💰💚💰💚💰 are Back‼️ I’m sharing this with You now!! 

I have been given the opportunity to *Start over* and build up another set of leaders. So that means I have to help you🙋🏻grab these bonuses😱. You will be personally enrolled and Mentored by me!!!💞 

I’m ready to help you‼️ All you need to do is to message me and we will start today😍

📲 text OR private massage me 💞

What makes me teeter-totter between laughing, gritting my teeth or just plain rolling my eyes is when I get tagged in these posts. Last I checked I didn’t go exercise this morning at 5:30 am and if someone thinks I did, or worse that I will, I have news for you! And for as much as $23,000 is an appealing amount for a bonus, I have some serious reservations as to the details here. 

It’s sad that 10% of my friends are there to sell me something. I must be a real bore. 😂

Feel free to grab the picture and share it if you need to deliver a subtle message to that one (or six) friend. 

(By the way, if any of you sell any of this, I’m not talking about any of you! I have one person on my Rose Gordon Facebook friend list who sells plexus and she goes about it appropriately. Yes, 1/650+ vs 6/60… That’s my lot in life.  Now if I could get the other 400+ authors to stop trying to sell me their books! 😝)

Didja Know?, funny, Randomness, things that make me laugh

Didja Know? #9 Falling in line with Wicked Wednesday…

Falling in line with the Wicked Wednesday theme, here are some Victorian Euphemisms for certain…er…female things.

Adultery: Criminal Conversation

Brothel: House of Ill Repute, Sporting House, Temple of Venus, Den of Vice, Disorderly House

Condoms: French Letters, French Male Safes, French Secrets

Female Genitals: The Box, Pandora’s Box

Loss of Virginity: Deflower(ing), Loss of Honor and Ornament, Tossing Away the Jewel of her Soul

Male Genitals: Peculiar Members, Secrets

Menstruation: The Monthly Sickness, Love’s Eternal Wound, The Curse/The Curse of Eve

Pantaloons: Unmentionables, Inexpressibles

Prostitutes: Degraded Daughters of Eve, Soiled Doves, Fallen Women, Daughters of Pleasure, The Fair but not Frail, Immoral Temptress, Aspasia, Girl on the Town, The Unfortunate Children of Sorrow, Bawds

Prostitution: The Great Social Evil, The Horizontal Trade, The Frail Sisterhood, The Practice of Debauchery, Criminal Connection

Pubic Hair (female):  Cupid’s Arbor

Sexual Intercourse: Sexual Congress, Carnal Connection, Carnal Knowledge, Sparking, Conjugal Attachment

Venereal Disease: Social Disease, The Bad Disorder, The Frightful Physical Malady, The Private Disease

 

~*~Since the majority of my books are in the Regency Era, I didn’t know a lot of these until I had to do some research to write for the Victorian Era (westerns). It’s really interesting how very few of these words crossed eras!

funny, I'm the victim of myself, things that make me laugh

Why, Just Why Wednesday

[WARNING: Don’t read this post during your lunch break! Even though it’s probably lunch time…]

Like everyone else last month, I was perusing websites looking for gift ideas for that one person I hadn’t a clue what to buy for.

In my case, it was for a teenage boy. Having never been a teenage boy I didn’t even know where to begin so I went to Google.

One of the top (yes, you read that right, TOP) gift ideas:

A blackhead removal toolkit…

And because a link to this one just isn’t enough, here’s a picture, too!
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Is it just me or do some of those tools look like what they use on your teeth at the dentist?

You’re welcome!

Behind the Scenes, Bob, Characters, funny, I'm human too, Just for Fun, Liberty for Paul, Scandalous Sisters Series, things that make me laugh, Wicked Wednesday

Antique stores–not just for antiques anymore!

I live about 15-20 minutes away from a quaint older town that still has a historic downtown which consists of a main street with massive turn-of-the-century buildings that contain some items as old (or older) than the buildings.

The buildings are old. The floors creak and groan when you walk on them. Some (okay, almost all) of the stores have a…er…aroma when you walk in that seems to get stronger when you pass by specific areas.

I love it!

But what makes these stores interesting is that they’re not antiques all owned by the store owner, but rather the store is divided into sections or booths and it’s like an indoor, year-round flea market. And, what’s also neat is it’s not just limited to antiques. Sure, I’ve found some totally awesome antiques in some of these shops: vintage typewriter, candlestick phone, wall-mounted crank telephone (with guts), ice tongs, cotton scale, 50s style milk bottles–and the carrying crate; I’ve also found plenty of new items that are either made to look vintage or they’re just plain modern, but obviously people (including me…) are buying them or they wouldn’t be putting them in these booths any longer. Some of these include: bath salts, candles, salsa, custom made signs, CDs, tapes, records, DVDs, VHS tapes, greeting cards either handmade or a package of unwanted store-bought cards, soap, fancy mirrors, miscellaneous silver pieces, crayons, mis-matched plates, etc. You name it, it’s in there somewhere. I once half-jokingly told my husband Bob that it’s like some of these people are having a garage sale without the garage or the need to actually bother with running the drawer themselves. If/when it sells, it sells and if it doesn’t, they just go collect it all when they’re ready to stop renting space.

It’s truly a wonder (and I bet you all have at least one of these little treasure troves near you).

About once a month, I go troll through the row of stores. Yesterday was my January “run”. Some months I just go and look and try to keep my jaw hinged. Other times I buy something in each store. I don’t plan it that way, but it happens. I go in. Something calls my name and I have to take it home. I actually save up each month for these trips.

Yesterday only one thing called to me, and oh, did it scream! Now, it’s probably not what anyone else I know would have walked out with, but it had my name written all over it and shows you that I, too, can be just as scandalous as any of the Banks sisters…specifically Liberty. 😉

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So of course, I had to hang it above the door to my laundry room although I doubt anyone will…

IMG_3198

 

(Oh, hey, look as an added bonus, this falls on a Wicked Wednesday!)

funny, Randomness, things that make me laugh

Am I the only one…

Am I the only one who loves the pictures passed around Facebook and goes so far as to take screenshots of them to keep them in the photo album on my phone?!

If you’re one who is just as odd as I am, let me pass on a few that I’ve seen just today that you might enjoy.

If you’re not one of the weirdos from this tribe, maybe these will inspire you to join!

Screen Shot 2015-09-13 at 6.49.27 PM

I am CONSTANTLY telling my husband this. Finally, someone else gets it!

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I didn’t snap this picture, but I had this awkward situation more than once when I was homeschooling. (For anyone who doesn’t know, homeschooling parents–and authors–are the primary funders of all postal/parcel systems.)

Screen Shot 2015-09-13 at 6.48.36 PM

I laughed until I almost cried when I saw this. I couldn’t decide what stumped me more: 1. Who does this to their animal? 2. Where does someone get a pattern for such an outfit…or did the owner make it up on his/her own? One of life’s little mysteries, to be sure.

Screen Shot 2015-09-13 at 6.49.06 PM

This is my biggest problem. I buy all these fruits and vegetables with the intentions of using them and end up choking on my nonstop dry heaves and scooping out a slimy, black gelatinous blobs from the bottom of my refridgerator drawers . (Talk about things that make ya gag!)

And finally…

Screen Shot 2015-09-13 at 6.49.15 PM

Amen!!! I have no other words to add to this.

I hope these made you grin as much as I did! Have a good week and feel free to share some of your favorites in the comments section.