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Walmart woes…and whoas!

I live in a smaller town and the closest store that has both food and clothes is Walmart. Yes, I could fall into the redneck category–but don’t you dare call me a hillbilly!

However, for as small town/redneck as I might be even I am amazed at times when I go into Wally World. I do try to be polite and keep my head down when I walk through the aisles but sometimes the kid wearing wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt finds you. As does the man dressed like a chicken. Or the woman with the bungee cord holding her pants up, yet her very…uh…generous middrift is in full sight. Of course a trip isn’t complete without at least two toddlers having a meltdown (no judgement here, one of my boys provided that ambiance more than once). 

Oh, Wally World wherever would we be without your low prices, temperamental cashiers and a clean up on aisle 4 that’s been there so long it’s become part of the floor?!

In case you can’t tell, I only go when I must. Yesterday I had to. Remember that flyer I posted up a few weeks ago, the one my boys thought would help them better with sports? Here’s a reminder:

IMG_3231
Well, on the backside was a coupon for a free box valued up to 6.99. This might be tmi but my pride only goes so far. Like most women I don’t enjoy having to buy these. Moreover, they’re rather expensive–especially when you consider what they’re used for. 

I digress. 

The coupon had an upcoming expiration date, so I decided: “It’s now or never”. My wallet screamed, NOW!!!! So I made a little list and off I went. Hey, I might be screwing up my courage to use such a coupon but that isn’t the only thing I’m going to the register with!  I grabbed my items and and headed to the register, but not before seeing theses:

  
Seriously?! It’s January!!! And 25 degrees and they’re displaying (and selling???) bikinis! Again, it’s Walmart. With that such reasoning, I start to look for a register. We have the self checkouts and I typically prefer to use those so I don’t have to deal with the crabapples who run the others, but I wasn’t taking a chance on the machine not scanning my coupon and me having to wave someone over to explain what’s going on. My luck would be that she’s be deaf and not know what to do and call a CSM over–and while waiting 20 minutes for one to meander over, she’d insist on carrying around my tampon coupon to every other station she helped. Then, when the CSM did show up, the lady would have no tact or volume control when she said, “That lady wants to use this here coupon to buy her fancy tampons but the machine is…blah, blah, blah…” Of course this would be followed with, “Ma’am, I’m gonna need to see your tampons…”

NO THANK YOU!

Instead, I walked down the row of cashiers and looked for one who looked to be a female who was older than me, but not my grandma’s age. When I found the right one, I stood in line and waited while she scanned the groceries in front of me. Then it was my turn. She scanned it all and gave me my total. I said, “I have a coupon, too.” Then handed her my strategically folded massive coupon so the bacode was visible but thr picture was not. She scanned it–then her eyes got huge. She unfolded it and started looking it over on both sides. “This just came to your house?”

I nodded. Yep, my address was right there on the back. 

“I gotta check the mail when I get home. I need this for my granddaughter.” Then, the unthinkable happens. She opens it fully and shows it to the lady behind me! “Isn’t this cool? She just got a free box of tampons.”

Without missing a beat the lady behind me goes, “Oh cool, those are the kind I use too.”

And at that moment all I wanted was my receipt and a getaway car! 

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12 thoughts on “Walmart woes…and whoas!

  1. Brought a smile to my face this morning to start my Friday off right! Sadly, I can feel your pain about this experience and yes, my kids have had that meltdown at one point or another as well! My husband is usually the one my daughters torture by taking him with them to get feminine products. They brazenly throw them into the shopping cart while he tries to hunker down (hard to do when he’s 6’4). Bad part, I have 3 girls. It’s our entertainment at the store. 🙂

    • I loved this story! Thank you for sharing it. Once I had to go shopping with my dad for them as a teen. Definitely a one-time thing. I just wanted to grab something and go…he was trying to be helpful and read packages. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

  2. It’s nice to know that I am not the only one that is like this and has these issues with walmart lol Thanks for the laugh this morning 🙂

  3. I am fortunate to have had a hysterectomy in 2002, so I don’t have a use for these. However, I have 3 teenage daughters and of course, they are on similar cycles. I have to fill up a cart with supplies and I get many a side eye. I too live in a town where WalMart is my only option, unless I want to travel 20+ miles. I have a love/hate relationship with this store. But, no one judges when I show up in my Batman pants, so I guess I can’t complain.
    Alas, we never get the chicken suits are bungee cords – at least not what I’ve seen. However, I don’t go to WalMart on the weekends after dark anymore…. I did that once…. shudder!

    • I can only imagine what all you saw so late at night at Wal-Mart. I’ve had that particular *pleasure*…never again.

      Care to share any pictures of those Batman pants?!

  4. This reminds me of when my daughter was still young and not secure enough to purchase her own tampons. I was in FLORIDA, at my mother’s and I get a phone call from my then pre-teen daughter telling me she started her period and was out of tampons. Really? And what did she think I was going to do, go to Wally World and send her a box Fed Ex, samw day delivery? I don’t think so! I told her to tell her dad and he’d take her to the store. OMG, you would have thought I was telling her to walk through the store naked, kids she knows worked there. So put hubby on phone, fill him in on the immediacy of the situation and he’s good to go. He told her, “Baby, Daddy has bought these for Mommy and even for Grandma when I lived at home. I’ll buy them anytime and you don’t need to be embarrassed. ” After she closed her ears to her Grandmother having a period, she told him what she wanted and he got them for her, and it was not the last time, either. Although she is still our baby, she had to have a hysterectomy a few months ago, so she’s bought her last box. Now she’s going into Wally World seeing women checking out the bladder control pads and telling them her mom got a free box which are like tampons and she just LOVES those!

    • Thank you SOOOO much for sharing this. I totally laughed–especially at the last part. You know what, if you use them anyway, might as well take advantage of the free.

      Side note, I have a friend who used to wear Depends following an accident and I never bothered to explain to my kids (who were 7&8) what they were or what they were for. The just thought that was his brand of underwear. So anyway, one day we went to the store together and I needed to get some feminine protection and one of my boys sees the Depend For Men (which of course is right next to the feminine products) and one of my little boys as innocently as could be says, “Oh, are we here to buy dad some underwear?!” I tried so hard not to laugh. My husband didn’t find it so humorous, but when I got home I had to go lock myself in my room and laugh into my pillow until I nearly cried.

  5. PS. I am one of those cranky checkout girls, well I was. Not only that, but I worked a weird shift (mostly so I could wear jeans) so I did see some of those weird customers you described. And for a “small town”, I have you beat. Our closest Wally World IS over 22 miles away.

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