I recently had a need to wear a corset again. This makes twice in one year–nix that twice in just 4 months–which prior to then I had never worn one at all!!! Anyway, I had to get into the rib impacting, lung squeezing, waist slimming torture device that makes you never want to eat a crumb again for a PICTURE; yes, just for a single picture!
When my friend started tying me up I jokingly told her to put her boot into it like Mammy. Her response, “Oh, I’m about to!”
As she tied me tighter and tighter and pulled those little strings more and more my breathing became more shallow and I began to wonder if all of my organs would go back where they belong…
“Tell me when you don’t think you can stand it anymore and I’ll stop.”
Ah, what a good friend…
She pulled and tied and pulled some more. “How ya doing up there? Still breathing?”
“Good. Just a little tighter.”
Any tighter and I’m going to need an oxygen mask, but I don’t want to be a wimp so I nod….and gasp, “Okay.”
She finishes and I instinctively reach out for the door jamb for balance. “So….where do you want this picture?” she asks.
“Anywhere except in a coffin.”
“How about we go downstairs? We’ll do it outside.”
Dread fills me as I realize I have to walk clear across the house once to get to the stairs then down the stairs then across the house AGAIN to get outside. You can do this! One bare foot in front of the other. There ya go. Stop thinking about how lightheaded you are or that your entire midsection is displaced and numb.
Finally I make it and not a second too soon. Fortunately, I get to hold onto a porch pillar for support in the picture. Unfortunately the first 8 shots my eyes were closed!
When at last we were done and back inside I demanded she undo my dress (yes, I was willing to take it all off in the living room, modesty be damned!). The only thing that stopped me was there was someone else in the living room and modesty can only be damned so far.
When at last all 50,000 eye hooks on the back of my dress were released and the corset was untied relief shot through my back inch by inch as the string loosened through each eyelet. I will say it was a very cool feeling. But not one I enjoyed so much I feel a need to don that blasted corset again!
So today if you read a historical romance give a slight nod to that poor fictional heroine who has to suffer inhumanely just to get the man who will love her even more when the corset is off!