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Monday Fun

This post is completely random, but hopefully something will help perk up your Monday.

Recently, we moved from a suburb of a city out to the country where there is a rather large lawn that needs to be kept nice. Well, my husband has always envied the mower Tom Hanks uses in Forrest Gump so…with tons of help, I found a Snapper riding lawn mower with handle bars about thirty miles away. It was cheap enough that I didn’t hesitate, and then had to take it to a lawn mower repair shop in another city where I told the guy running the shop, “Pimp my mower!”

It got a new paint job, new stickers, a new seat and gas tank, four new tires, the rust was cleaned up, the blades replaced and the engine tuned up, all for less than 1/3rd of a new one! On Christmas Day, the friend who conspired with me to make this all possible, brought it over and I made my husband dress like Forrest Gump with some solid white tennis shoes and a shirt that buttons to the neck (which you can’t see), to go see the “scratch” our friend got on the side of the truck while borrowing it!

Anyway, this is him driving it up the driveway and to the garage:

photo

 

Yes, he is that tall that when he sits down, his pants come up a little further than he might like. LOL

A friend of mine who used to help me out around the house, knew I had a fascination with grapes and made me this for Christmas:

photo2The grapes and whine bottle are made from sugar cookies. She did an amazing job!

One of my proofreaders sent me this for Christmas–to which my husband immediately became jealous, claiming she’d trumped him and his Gone With the Wind Plates:

photo3They are hedgehogs made from pinecones! I love them and they have taken up a permanent residence in living room!

I snapped the next picture while at Wal-Mart a few weeks ago, see if you can catch the irony:

photo4For moms, it’s one stop shopping on aisle 11–school supplies AND peanut butter and jelly all on one aisle. What more does a mom need?

The following I took while driving around Tulsa one day. I’m disturbed on more than one level…

photo5

 

Honestly the 1% gas frightens me more than the misspelling of duty. Just sayin’.

I never know what to expect when my husband sends me a text. Some days it’s of a rooster strutting across the sign at Sonic:

Photo7or something like this:

photo8

 

Then of course, there is my husband who has decided our dog (Sir Rhett) needs to ride on his bicycle with him and bought him a pair of “doggles”:

Photo9Those are indeed sunglasses for the dog that attach like goggles.

My personal favorite set of photos are as follows. But first a bit of backstory again. A few weeks ago, during my 12 Days of Christmas, I asked for favorite or bizarre terms used in historical romance. I had someone comment with globes as a term for breasts. I have to admit that this has given me a whole new perspective when I walk through my front door every day and see this:

photo10

Whoever built this house decided to put two “globes” down on the stained concrete in the entryway. As bizarre as it sounds, this was one of my favorite aspects of the house and a huge selling point for me. Now, all I can think of when I walk through the front door is a pair of giant breasts. And if that’s not enough, my mother decided to buy me a new bra not so long ago, and sent me the following picture to show me what it looked like:

photo11

And if none of those got you to crack a smile, perhaps this will.

About a week and a half ago, I was on the phone with my sons’ 50-something year old kindergarten teacher. I’d called her about an upcoming event or something when she burst out with, “Oh, while I have you on the phone, I have to tell you what Henry said in class yesterday.”

Immediately the air left my lungs and I gulped in as much as I could. Nothing ever good comes from these types of conversations, hence the story about “Who is this Earl fellow Eddie keeps talking about” from last year. So all I can do is sit and pray this isn’t that bad.

“Yesterday, we were taking prayer requests when Henry’s hand shot up. Then, as soon as I called on him, he shouted, ‘I want to pray for our dog because he’s getting his balls chopped of today!'”

At first, I was mortified my son was talking that way at school, but my own mortification soon faded into laughing hysterically as the teacher kept going on and on about how hard she had to try not to laugh at his outburst. There’s just something hysterically funny about an older teacher thinking that was funny and reciting it back to me word for word of what he’d said! Gotta love boys and you certainly have to admire kindergarten teachers. They are a different breed entirely–and what a wonderful breed they are!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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12 thoughts on “Monday Fun

  1. I can’t believe the gas station misspelled duty! LOL… Dooty! And wow! I’m glad to know all boys latch on to inappropriate words and blurt them at inappropriate times. Thanks for sharing! Made my Monday.

    • Sadly it’s not just boys. I’ve heard some real doozies slip out of girls’ mouths, too.

      Now that I’ve ruined your day I’m glad I could make it (even for just a short time) first.

  2. ROTBL (I was reading in bed, and it was too far a drop to roll on the floor)!

    The irony on Aisle 11: all the words except PEANUT have a dubble letter (misspelling intended), including 11, which isn’t even really a word. For that matter, it isn’t really even ironic, more like just a strange observation. Or maybe just an observation by some strange person… ;-). Ok, so the pain medication is kicking in and I’m laughing at my own words…

    Ahhh, kindergarten. My daughter came home from kindergarten one day and announced that the next day, because the class was so good, Mrs. Dunn was going to let them watch an adult movie about incest.

    Incensed, I called Mrs. Dunn, who gently explained that she told the class that because the class behaved like grown ups, she was going to show a grown up video (as in NOT A CARTOON) — a National Geographic film — about BUGS.

    • LOL JoAnn, you always crack me up.

      I can only imagine what your first thought was when your sweet, innocent little girl came home and made THAT announcement. Oh my goodness! Funny now, not so funny at the time, I’m guessing.

      I hope you feel better from whatever it is that’s ailing you.

  3. Ok, my favorite part of all this is the random rooster! And I immediately thought “wow…your mom has great taste in bras!” I don’t own one, but I do own and love me some Spanx! LOL

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