Mr. Gordon’s Edits Revealed

First, let me say, I was TOTALLY astounded today when I logged into my dashboard and saw how many of you participated in my polls. I honestly didn’t expect to see so many answers. I was floored and had a great time reading through them to see just what people enjoyed most. Usually, it’s a guessing game of what people will enjoy or from time to time, I’ll use beta readers on an unfinished manuscript and ask them flat out what they do and don’t like about a book.  I’ll do a more in-depth post on this later this week, but I just wanted to thank all of you who participated. I truly didn’t expect to see so many votes! If you have not voted but want to, you still can. The polls have been left open indefinitely and you can go to the Polls page and cast your vote.

Now for today’s post!

I’ve been asked about and e-mailed about where my husband’s comments go in reference to Her Imperfect Groom. So today I thought I’d spill the secrets!

  • It’s only the second paragraph and you’re getting corny already… This remark was made at the end of the second paragraph (obviously) when Edwina refuses to blink her eyes so not to cheat herself from the feast they’re drinking in: Wallace.
  • I use this sentence all the time, how is it ridiculous? The sentence was “The pleasure was mine”. Edwina says this to Wallace after their dance. Then Edwina thinks she’s just sounded like a nodcock for saying it. My husband didn’t understand what was ridiculous about the sentence.
  • A dace is a small minnow, not applicable here (oops, somehow I missed the “n” in dance) This actually happens in that first scene, but it’s really not important where it happens since there is the word “dance” several times throughout the book.
  • Did these exist back then? Just curious… (And the answer is YES! That particular object DID exist back then) This was written in reference to pencils and the fact that Wallace used one to write Edwina a letter. Pencils have been around since the 1500s, I believe.
  • Really? Don’t you think you’re making him a bit too handsome? (What I’d like to know is is there such a thing as too handsome??) First chapter again. Edwina has just mentally acknowledged she finds Sir Wallace handsome beyond all comprehension but she cannot possible have genuine feelings for him already–for goodness’ sake they’d just met!
  • Please clarify this. It just sounds wrong. When Edwina realizes that because Wallace thinks Major Minor is a person, rather than a dog, and she’d earlier told him she’d allowed Major Minor to share her bed, that meant he’d thought she’d had intimacies with her dog.
  • Oh, the drama… End of the second chapter when Edwina walks in and renders Wallace speechless and breathless.
  • Was this intentional? (The answer is NO! I accidentally wrote “rousers” instead of trousers. Who knows what I was thinking about when I wrote that scene. Goodness.) Apparently in chapter three Wallace wore a green coat and flawlessly pressed rousers rather than trousers.
  • Ooo curvaceous! When Edwina describes Lady Chatterfield in chapter 4 she calls her curvaceous.
  • You stole that from me! (It was a particular line/story he tells. And yes, I did steal it from him. Just a hint, it has something to do with rabid squirrels.) Chapter 5. “Edwina had never had such a sleepless night sleep, that included the time her brothers had convinced her rabid squirrels would come in through the broken window and nibble off her toes.” When our kids are taking forever getting from the car into the house (typically at night), my husband will tell them they’d better hurry or a rabid squirrel will come nibble off their toes. This, and “You’ll wake up the sleeping bear” are lines we also use on our kids to keep them quiet when we go on camping trips.
  • You do need a thesaurus (This said after I used a pretty vague/common adjective.) The word was “pretty” and Wallace used it to inwardly describe Edwina’s eyes.
  • I don’t think three inch rocks make thuds when you drop them When a nervous Wallace puts down the two chess pieces he was holding. I’d said they made thuds against the chessboard.
  • “And eat it too?” (The sentence–which I apologize to my editor who reads these posts–was supposed to read: “…if you keep your calm...” But, I had: “…if you keep your clam…” He highlighted the clam and wrote in the margins, “and eat it too” however, and this is the part I’m apologizing for, I had no idea what he was talking about until RIGHT NOW, so I just now got that one. Sorry!) This happened while Edwina is giving Wallace advice to stay calm when in the presence of ladies
  • Really? Wooee? When Edwina tells her plan to Wallace, she keeps referring to the person being wooed as the wooee.
  • You mean Chatterfield? Actually, on this one, it was a matter of both Lady Chatterfield and Lady Silverton were both being mentioned in the same paragraph. Unfortunately, for my husband, HE was confused and  was indeed speaking of the correct lady.
  • Isn’t this supposed to be Sinclair? The immediate paragraph following where the former comment was made, Wallace laments on his courtship and near wedding to Lady Silverton. And once again he got confused.
  • Frankly dear, I think you have your ladies confused No, sweetheart, it is you who have the ladies mixed up.
  • You really should, you tease! (When I gave him this copy, I had one little scene that I hadn’t finished. Being my absentminded self that day, I forgot to tell him there was an unfinished scene with only: [FINISH] written… Oopsie!) The part where Elijah and Henry (mainly Henry) attempt to convince Wallace that Major Minor is indeed a dog–following the Sir Bertham Bridgestone the bluish-green Babbler Baronet Bird. The problem was, I wanted them to say something to further convince him Major Minor was a dog, but at the same time, their statements could be true about a human, too, so when it came out at the end, Henry and Elijah hadn’t exactly lied in those statements. The reason Henry lied in the first place by claiming he was her suitor instead of her dog wasn’t to be cruel to Wallace or to create just “another” misunderstanding, but was said in hopes of pushing Wallace way so Edwina wouldn’t get hurt.
  • I think we need to have another woodcarving lesson, Mrs. Gordon. Carvers do not sand their pieces, they like them  to look natural. My opinion is: Rewrite! In my first try at the scene where Wallace is carving the horse and talking to Drake, he’s using a little sanding roller he’d fashioned to sand the horse. In his unease while discussing courtships and ladies, he gets uncomfortable, jerks his hand and runs the rough sander over his hand–which is how he hurts his hand in that setting.
  • Yes, we do need to go over woodworking again. “A tool with a sharp pointy tip?” Really? How about a gouge or chisel? Instead of saying, “Wallace picked up the gouge”, I’d said, “Wallace selected a tool with a sharp pointed tip..” Truly, who reads a romance novel to learn the name of woodcarving tools?
  • Maybe when he coughs, he should cut off half of the horse’s ear (don’t worry, it’s a wooden horse) In the original version of the scene, Wallace coughs while sanding the horse and scratches his hand. However, it was because of this suggestion, that I decided to have him accidentally make a huge scratch in the side of the horse and start over.
  • He’ll have to marry her if he sends her a letter? That’s ridiculous. (No, that’s the way of it, apparently.) My husband was just floored that Wallace would have to marry Edwina if he took Drake’s suggestion and sent her a letter.
  • With his dirty fingers?! Wallace pushed Edwina’s hair off of her forehead while they were digging up the plants.
  • I personally prefer the word heaved, but use what you want. The line was (and still is) Edwina gave a sigh. Apparently, he’d have preferred that she heaved the sigh.
  • …?!?! I had to write the book in pieces as I was traveling a lot while writing it. So I’d write some parts on my laptop and some parts on my iPad. While doing this, I’d resorted to just putting “Chapter” at the top of the new chapter and not numbering it. Since the first nine or so chapters had been written before my trip, they’d all been numbered, but then suddenly they weren’t and I’d forgotten to fix this before sending it to my husband.
  • Wow, Sir Wallace is quite the lady’s man! This was written while Lady Chatterfield was trying to feel Wallace up at dinner.
  • Not funny and quite unladylike! The original sentence read, “You once asked me to help you find Uranus.” Given the fact that my husband spent more than five years in colorectal surgery, I should have known better than to word a sentence this way, but alas, I fell right into it.
  • What! And just how do you pronounce that? The word is/was: Tete-a-tetes. He’s a man so I can only imagine how he pronounced this in his head.
  • Kate plowed over her own men? (During a game) I’d written the wrong name while they were playing Tin Soldiers and Kate plowed over Helena’s men. Oops.
  • You goofball! This was about the tin soldiers game in general. There is a story behind this and I’ll share it in a post later this week or next!
  • Crossing a line! (This part changed, as I thought it would before he even looked at it–sorry) The original reason Wallace was banned from the museum was not because he’d knocked a picture off the wall–but that’s ALL I’m saying.
  • This sounds funny–and not in a comical sort of way. The sentence was, “She’d prefer to be considered ruined and unmarriageable than marry someone who didn’t…” It sounded funny because the un in unmarriageable wasn’t there!
  • Oh my! This scene just got juicy!  When Wallace leans in for a kiss after giving Edwina the wooden letters while Caroline is out finding Alex.
  • How is it physically possible for someone’s mouth to run independently of their mouth? In my hurry, I had Marcus tell Alex, “Your mouth is running independent of your mouth.”
  • Really? No woman wants to bury her head face in a mat of chest hair–except for you maybe. (I must be weird, I guess, and since my husband lacks chest hair, I have to live vicariously through my heroines…) When Wallace reads Edwina her father’s letter then holds her, she buries her face into his chest hair.
  • What in tarnation are sausage curls? Originally, I’d described the scene where Caroline, Brooke and Edwina got dressed for Brooke’s ball–this was later forfeited–and described Edwina as having perfect sausage curls.
  • I had use and used next to each other, so his note was: “using”. Guess he just wanted to make sure I had all tenses listed. (Apologies again to my fabulous editor. I had no idea what he was trying to convey. Perhaps if he’d try to be a little more serious and a little less humorous, I wouldn’t have sent you such a sloppy MS) This is pretty self-explanatory.
  • Um, I think this is a little convoluted–even for you Originally Wallace did NOT climb up the trellis and use the balcony to enter Edwina’s room. In my original version of Intentions of the Earl I specifically remember writing the sides of Watson Townhouse were smooth and unscalable (Andrew thinks this while trying to devise a plan to get into the house to talk to Brooke). So though I think this might have changed (sad that I can’t remember all the changes I made in July), I wanted to keep this book “in line” with what I originally wrote so those who read the book prior to any additional edits/changes wouldn’t wonder why Wallace found the wall able to scale, but not Andrew, so I had Wallace stand on the railing of the stairs (in the rain) and reach up to grab onto the bottom of the balcony floor and hoist himself up that way. It was long and very, very convoluted. The (new) trellis was a much better idea.
  • Oh how romantic. Swoon! This is when Wallace tells Edwina:  “I’ve never felt at ease with anyone else the way I do with you. You excite me and calm me at the same time. You give me the sanity I never had. ” He leaned his head forward and pressed his forehead against hers. “But most of all, you’re the part of me I never knew was lost.”
  • I think you mean “he” but you could leave it her, I’m sure if another man reads this he won’t mind. (The sentence was “…she shaped her firm breasts…” And yes, I blushed when I read that. Goodness.) Following their declaration of love, Wallace finally lets go of all of his inhibitions and touches Edwina’s breasts and I guess I was so full of relief that finally they’d resolved everything, that I accidentally wrote that she fondled her own breasts.

The last one is a bit of a spoiler so I put it at the bottom. I debated not putting in here at all, but for anyone who’s read any of my older posts they already know I said this might happen, so it’s not a huge spoiler, but just beware.

  • ~*~ SPOILER ~*~  Oh for goodness’ sake, these are two academics. There’s no way either of them could fight a duel this long. Believe it or not, the duel scene was even longer originally!

6 thoughts on “Mr. Gordon’s Edits Revealed”

  1. Loved it! I think it is so awesome Mr G reads your books and gives so much thought to it 🙂

    “Really? No woman wants to bury her head face in a mat of chest hair–except for you maybe. (I must be weird, I guess, and since my husband lacks chest hair, I have to live vicariously through my heroines…)”

    I have a nice hairy chested hubby and never realized how lucky I was. Thanks for making me aware of this so I can bury my face in his mat of chest hair more often.

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