First, I’d like to apologize to those who check their inboxes daily to see if I’ve made a life-enriching post. I know many of your cling to my every word as if–
*Clears throat loudly* Ms. Gordon, now is not the time for you to become self-important.
*Blushes* Right. Your interview. Today, I’ve once again suspended the realm of possibility and have dragged Sir Wallace Benedict into my office for an interview.
It is a pleasure to be here.
*Mutters* That’s good because that’s not a term I’d use to describe writing certain parts of your book.
What was that?
Nothing. I was just saying now that I’m done your book, I wanted to talk to you and find out if you liked how everything turned out.
I married the heroine, didn’t I? I’d say it all turned out just as it should.
We all knew you’d get the girl. That’s the definition of a romance. If you didn’t, the book would fall under literature–more specifically chicklit. *shudders*
*Chuckles* And it’d be a crime to have your books confused for such?
Absolutely. I write what I write and the style that I write it in because it’s what I enjoy. Not so it can be considered for the Pulitzer Prize. It’d be boring if we all spoke and wrote the same. But that’s unimportant, we’re here to discuss your book. Which, just so we’re clear, you broke a few rules during yourself, Sir Wallace.
Only a few innocent ones.
I’m not talking about when you [beep] or [beep] leading to [beep] or even when you [beep] and had to [beep]! I’m talking about you veering off script.
Perhaps if you’d had a little more faith in me as a hero before you came up with that silly idea of a my plot, you’d have seen reason sooner and not allowed yourself to become so vexed with me.
*Sucks in hard breath* I always had faith in you as a hero, Wallace. Believe me, if not for my faith in you, I wouldn’t have defied the critics and kept you in Her Reluctant Groom.
Pardon? Someone had the audacity to tell you to remove my role as Miss Green, now Lady Sinclair’s suitor in Her Reluctant Groom?
*Shifts uncomfortably* It’s complicated. But nonetheless, you should be thankful I stuck to my guns, so to speak. Now, enough on that. The good news is that you got your book. So let’s talk about it.
There’s not much to say really. In chapter one we meet and by the epilogue we’re married. I’d say that sums it up well enough. Now can I go back to 1818? Edwina is waiting for me.
No. You just got here. We have much to discuss.
What more is there to discuss other than that we meet then get married?
How about all the events that happen in between those two crucial dates.
*Groans* Some of those memories are better left unmentioned. I’m still trying to forget a memory or two myself.
Oh, are you speaking about when you and Alex–
Don’t even say it. Besides, he may have won that particular battle, but I’d say I won the war.
How poetic. So tell us, how do you like the Banks family?
Now or mid-book?
Touche. All right why don’t you tell everyone your favorite part of the book–excluding the wedding night.
Touche to you, too. Hmmm. Now that you’ve taken out what was sure to be my most favorite part, ever. I’d have to say the very last chapter.
*Rolls eyes* Of course that is your favorite. It’s where you…where she… Where, I’m sure everyone can figure what we’re talking about. I should have thought about that a little more when I asked that question. All right, let’s do a few yes or no questions, shall we?
All right. I think–
The correct answer is yes. Answer each question with either a yes or no. Nothing else. First question: Is there at least one attempted seduction in this book?
*Clears throat* Answer the question.
Is it true there is at least on major injury in this book?
Is it true there is at least one minor injury in this book?
Is it true you have to endure a dinner with all three of your former intendeds?
*Purses lips* Yes.
Is it true one of those former intendeds tried to–
I refuse to answer whatever nonsense you’re about to ask.
I don’t think that’s an option?
*Crosses arms and smiles smugly* Oh, yes, it is. I know where that question was going based off the previous question. It was bad enough such an awkward situation took place, I’ll not have it discussed so publicly.
Uh, do you forget all these people will know of it sooner or later?
Yes, well, by then, they’ll have paid the four hundred ninety nine dollars for the privilege.
You mean four hundred ninety nine pennies, right?
No. I meant dollars. I think it’s time for you to up your price. A story as good as mine cannot be told or sold for under four hundred ninety nine dollars.
At least you have confidence. But the answer is no. Your story will be sold at the same 4.99 as everyone else’s. Now, let’s get back to the questions.
I said no. I don’t like to be made to answer a string of ridiculous questions when I could be at home with my wife.
Just answer my questions then you can go.
No. And if you ask another one, I’ll give you writer’s block.
*Gasps* You wouldn’t.
I would. I know all about your latest project–the one you cannot decide on a title for. The hero’s name is Sebastian and the heroine is Eliza.
How did you find out about them?
You mean besides me having to watch my wife waltz with that scoundrel? I read the words on your computer screen while you were fixing lunch. Don’t worry, all 7,216 words are still there. I must say, if you think you had a hard time with my book, you’re already in trouble with this one. I have no idea how you think to salvage things after what he did in chapter two.
That’s none of your concern! Now, you’d better stop talking before I go make more edits on your story. I still have more than two weeks before it goes live. A lot can be changed in two weeks.
Truce. But will you answer one more question for me? If I lost the file and had to re-write the entire thing from scratch, would you be happy to do it all again?
As some of you know, this book was probably my difficult book to write. Between Wallace changing the direction of the book more than once and running into weird people at the mall, I never knew what to expect from day to day when I started writing. Wallace is a truly unique character who took on a life of his own. He may not go on to be my most loved hero (I think at present that honor still belongs to Gateway), but I really like who he turned out to be once I got to know him outside of the unusual fellow with the weird quirks in Her Reluctant Groom. And yes, I was prodded by two people to remove his part from that book. But I didn’t. I wanted Wallace. It would seem the “people” did, too, because many people wrote to me following Her Reluctant Groom to ask if Wallace would get a story!