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A Day in the Life Part 5: Annoying Heroes and Real Life (Warning, mild rant ahead)

My husband can be the most annoying man in existence sometimes.

Like today.

I woke up this morning at 5:30, pushed my husband out of bed then packed his lunch. At 6:10, he kissed me with his bristly mustache then opened the front door. As the door opened, a cold gust of air slapped me in the face. I shivered. Then quickly shut the door and waved goodbye through the window as he drove off. (I know, we’re weird.)

Ten minutes later, I’m undressing, about to take a nice warm shower and the phone rings.

“Hello.”

“I have a flat.” (How’s that for a greeting?)

“Oh?”

“Do you have the jack?”

“At the moment? No.”

“Well, is it in your car?”

“I don’t know.”

“Would you go look? I’ll call you back in a little bit.”

I tossed the phone down, threw on the fluffiest robe I could, then headed out the door, mumbling something about the insufferable man I married as I went. It’s still dark and cold out, but I manage to get my trunk open and start digging around. No jack.

I sigh then go back inside to wait for his call. Fifteen minutes later, the call comes.

“I need you to come get me.”

“What?’

“I got the wheel off, but I can’t get the spare on.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in a bit.”

“Good. Hurry. It’s freezing out here!”

This time when I throw the phone down, I groan. It’s past 6:30, and I have to be getting the kids up and ready for school soon. Now, I really have to get them up and ready! Lacking all the loving care of a mother, I rush into my kids’ room: “Get up and get your clothes on NOW!!!”

Ten minutes, and one aggravating call from my husband later, we’re walking out the front door.

As I’m walking out the door, he calls again. Okay, so now this has gone from a minor inconvenience for me to just downright irritating. I understand he’s cold, but good grief, how am I supposed to ever get there if he doesn’t stop calling?! Seriously.

Another ten minutes pass and I’m getting close to where he is, and I’m sure you have no idea what I’m about to say. Yes, the phone rings AGAIN!!! At this point, I was tempted to roll the windows down and have our kids wave at him as we drive by. But I’m much too sweet to do that.

So I get the annoying man I’ve married, and take him to work. It’s already 7:10. There isn’t enough time to go home for breakfast before my kids have to be to school. Good thing my husband works at a hospital so there’s a cafeteria, right? WRONG!

“Oh darn, I don’t have any cash,” I say just as we pull up.

“That’s okay, I have money,” my husband responds. “Oh wait, it’s in my wallet.”

“And your wallet is…”

“In the red car.”

I swear I’m going to have to get my teeth checked this afternoon after all that grinding I did. “You mean, your wallet is in the car parked on the side of the highway?”

He blinks at me in the way I imagine Alex Banks would when do when he doesn’t understand a facial expression. “Yes.”

“Just get out and go to work, please.”

He exits the car. There really isn’t enough time to drive all the way over there to get his wallet, eat breakfast and get the kids to school. So, I push his forgetfulness from my mind and decide to feed my kids first, drop them off, then go get anything we wouldn’t want stolen from the car.

After driving all the way to the top floor of the parking garage, then riding in the slowest elevator imaginable, and navigating the maze of hallways, we find the cafeteria, but I have no money. Aha, an ATM! Finally, something is going my way!

As I’m using the machine, my kids are bouncing all over the room, asking for every snack/soda in all the vending machines. Cash in hand, we head to the cafeteria.

Let me just say, I will never eat there again.

Between the three of us, we got three biscuits, two scoops of eggs, and two pieces of fruit. We get up to pay, and the lady refuses to ring me up. Her machine is broken.

“But I have cash,” I argue. “I know the eggs are .65/scoop, but we can round up.”

“No. Just wait a few minutes, it’s resetting.” The lady sitting by the register says.

I don’t want to wait. It’s 7:40, and my kids have to be to school by 8. “I’ll give you this twenty, just give me back my thirteen.”

“No. You need to wait. It’ll just be a few minutes.” Another lady who works there and was helping her reset the computer told me.

I look down at my kids. We’re all holding styrofoam plates, and my youngest son is pretending his is an airplane. In my mind, I can just see all those eggs landing all over the floor. My older son, is holding his up by his mouth, and licking at the crumbs that surrounded his biscuit.

I ground my teeth and winced. Bad idea to grind my teeth again. “Here, just keep the change.” I hand her the twenty and walk off.

One of the ladies hollers after me, “No, it needs to be rung up.”

We sit down and eat. Scarf really. While sitting down, both of the women who were at the check out walk past me, neither bothering to offer me my change, mind you.  (LOL)

So we get ready to go, and I cannot find a trashcan. In vain I look for one. Couldn’t find one. So I ask another cafeteria worker. Her response:

“Read the sign,” she snaps.

“Excuse me?”

She purses her lips. “We don’t have trashcans. Everything goes into the tray drop. If you’d read the sign, you’d know that.”

At this point, I was seeing red. I’d seen the big sign hanging from the ceiling indicating the “tray drop” was around the corner, but since I didn’t have a tray, only three disposable plates, I didn’t bother to go look at the tray drop.

For some reason, her rude demeanor, made me slightly more upset about being cheated out of my money. I can’t say why, but it did. I looked down to where I was holding the hands of my kids and decided it was best to leave and not confront anyone.

After wandering aimlessly around the hospital for a while, we found the car and I zipped over to their school and dropped them off—only three minutes late! I was quite proud of that feat. (I almost wonder if I would have gotten them there on time had I taken them home for breakfast…) Then went to get my husband’s wallet from the car.

Mission Collect Wallet (and other valuables): Completed!

Then came Mission Raid Husband’s Wallet and Take All of His Money: Completed!

And now, I am in the process of completing: Spending My Loot! Starting with a nice cup of tea at Panera. I think after here I’m going shoe shopping…

On the writing front, just a bit more editing, then some writing. However, I’m not feeling a sweet scene. I think I might channel my angst at the moment and skip ahead to a fight scene!

I hope everyone has a better day than I am having, and enjoy your weekends.

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9 thoughts on “A Day in the Life Part 5: Annoying Heroes and Real Life (Warning, mild rant ahead)”

    1. No, my money is gone! When my husband called me at lunch and I told him I was ripped off by the cafeteria staff, he said, “Welcome to the club, think of it as a donation.”

      I guess that means he’s had a similar experience.

      I’m feeling a wee bit sorry for him, too. But I’m still not giving him back the money I found in his wallet! LOL

  1. I venture to say this is “the stuff” that Historic Romance Novels are NOT made of but then maybe Hysterical Romance Novels are?

  2. “Mission: Raid Husband’s Wallet and Take All of His Money”

    This sounds like a reasonable mission of every wife. Isn’t that why we got married? 😉

    This is what happens after the “The End” of a romance book. Real life kicks in and you’re left rushing around to get stuff done so you can return home to do what you love most: write.

    I would have thrown the $20 at the lady, too. When your kids are hungry and need to get to school, you do whatever it takes.

    However, I don’t think I would have been able to hold my tongue with the “read the signs” lady. I’m afraid given all that happened to you that morning, I would have given her the evil eye and made a snide comment to my kids about how unfortunate it is that we’re taught to be nice in kindergarten but forget the lesson when we grow up. And I would have made sure she heard it. (And that woudn’t have been good because afterwards, I would have felt bad for, once again, not turning the other cheek. It’s so hard to be good.)

    1. That is indeed why many of us got married. Although at the time my husband and I married, there wouldn’t have been much in his wallet to take. LOL

      That is so true. This is the part people don’t like to think about after the THE END. But it’s what we all live and love the most.

      The only reasons I held my tongue on the read the sign lady is: 1. My kids were right there, and I’d be mortified if they were to repeat the words I was tempted to say; and 2. since it was my husband’s work, I’d hate to embarrass him if it got out that there was a crazy lady telling off a cafeteria worker, and the crazy lady just so happened to be…

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