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You Know You’re an Adult When…

A few years ago, before I was an adult, I was sent an e-mail that was titled, “You Know You’re an Adult When…” then it listed off twenty or so little tell-tale signs you were no longer a kid. Some of these were simple things like: You leave a baseball game right after the seventh-inning stretch to avoid traffic or You’re no longer just too tall to play on the playground at McDonald’s Playland, you’re taller than the slide, too.

Earlier this month I had a milestone birthday and didn’t think too much about it. Then came this ast Saturday.

It was in the upper 90s here on Saturday so my husband and I decided to take our boys to his dad’s house to go swimming. This was all good until I looked at my husband and said, “Hey, let’s have jumping contests!” As a kid I loved doing weird jumps into the pool.

HUGE MISTAKE!!!

Now, I’m not old old. I’m really not even that old. But I have had two children and let a few years slip by between this past Saturday and the last time I had a jumping contest into the pool.

After no more than five jumps each, I was ready to spend the rest of the afternoon lying on the raft! Funny how things change, isn’t it? I couldn’t believe how in just a couple years my somewhat decent dive turned into a belly flop or how I use to shake my head at people who would plug their nose before jumping. Now, I know why they do it!

As I swam to the raft and reclined to rest from my horribly embarrassing display (even my cannonball was awful!), I started to think about just when you know you’re an adult.

Here’s my short list:

  • You think swimming in the pool really means lying on the raft and shouting at your children not to splash you again
  • Diving to the bottom of the pool to retrieve a thrown item holds as much appeal as scrubbing the toilet
  • Sunscreen is mandatory and you always have an extra bottle with you to spray on or cream up anyone you encounter who doesn’t have any of their own
  • Sunglasses aren’t just for fashion, they’re necessary
  • You leave jumping in the pool to those under 5-foot tall
  • You’re not embarrassed to be buying or blowing up floaties, and you actually consider getting yourself a pair so you don’t have to tread in areas you can’t touch
  • Your first thought when you see a girl in a bikini isn’t, “Oh, that’s cute” but “Where is her mother and would someone please get her a towel!”
  • When you pass the stack of mats in the school supply area of Wal-Mart a sad feeling passes over you and you have a moment of silence and respect for the loss of nap time
  • You now pick up six different boxes of cereal to check the nutrition facts–mainly the fiber content–instead of to find out what the prize is
  • You cringe at the words “happy meal”
  • You say a silent prayer the carhop at Sonic will accidentally forget to bring Ketchup
  • Driving in snow, rain, ice or even the dark isn’t as adventurous as it use to be
  • Dinnertime doesn’t bring up memories of a nice family dinner with a nice meal and family conversation but pots, pans, a hot oven, burnt dinner, a big mess and forty-five minutes of cleaning after the meal
  • You understand–and are slightly shocked, scandalized, embarrassed and disappointed in the person talking–double entendre remarks
  • You’re the one spouting half of those double entendre remarks
  • You fall asleep in the middle of a movie and don’t feel disappointed

There ar many more, off-the-wall ways to know you’ve officially become an adult I’m sure. Feel free to add your comments below.

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2 thoughts on “You Know You’re an Adult When…

  1. Thanks for the laugh!

    Okay, I’ll add a couple…

    1. The bills coming to your mailbox have your name on them.

    2. Those kids in the other room screaming and crying out for “Mom” are talking about you.

    3. Your first thought when you wake up in the morning is “How many hours is it until I can sleep again?”

    4. When you get up, a part of your body hurts because you’ve been sitting the wrong way.

    5. In the winter, you bundle up with scarves, hats, gloves, etc thinking you’d rather be comfortable and warm than “cool”.

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