A few years ago, before I was an adult, I was sent an e-mail that was titled, “You Know You’re an Adult When…” then it listed off twenty or so little tell-tale signs you were no longer a kid. Some of these were simple things like: You leave a baseball game right after the seventh-inning stretch to avoid traffic or You’re no longer just too tall to play on the playground at McDonald’s Playland, you’re taller than the slide, too.
Earlier this month I had a milestone birthday and didn’t think too much about it. Then came this ast Saturday.
It was in the upper 90s here on Saturday so my husband and I decided to take our boys to his dad’s house to go swimming. This was all good until I looked at my husband and said, “Hey, let’s have jumping contests!” As a kid I loved doing weird jumps into the pool.
Now, I’m not old old. I’m really not even that old. But I have had two children and let a few years slip by between this past Saturday and the last time I had a jumping contest into the pool.
After no more than five jumps each, I was ready to spend the rest of the afternoon lying on the raft! Funny how things change, isn’t it? I couldn’t believe how in just a couple years my somewhat decent dive turned into a belly flop or how I use to shake my head at people who would plug their nose before jumping. Now, I know why they do it!
As I swam to the raft and reclined to rest from my horribly embarrassing display (even my cannonball was awful!), I started to think about just when you know you’re an adult.
Here’s my short list:
- You think swimming in the pool really means lying on the raft and shouting at your children not to splash you again
- Diving to the bottom of the pool to retrieve a thrown item holds as much appeal as scrubbing the toilet
- Sunscreen is mandatory and you always have an extra bottle with you to spray on or cream up anyone you encounter who doesn’t have any of their own
- Sunglasses aren’t just for fashion, they’re necessary
- You leave jumping in the pool to those under 5-foot tall
- You’re not embarrassed to be buying or blowing up floaties, and you actually consider getting yourself a pair so you don’t have to tread in areas you can’t touch
- Your first thought when you see a girl in a bikini isn’t, “Oh, that’s cute” but “Where is her mother and would someone please get her a towel!”
- When you pass the stack of mats in the school supply area of Wal-Mart a sad feeling passes over you and you have a moment of silence and respect for the loss of nap time
- You now pick up six different boxes of cereal to check the nutrition facts–mainly the fiber content–instead of to find out what the prize is
- You cringe at the words “happy meal”
- You say a silent prayer the carhop at Sonic will accidentally forget to bring Ketchup
- Driving in snow, rain, ice or even the dark isn’t as adventurous as it use to be
- Dinnertime doesn’t bring up memories of a nice family dinner with a nice meal and family conversation but pots, pans, a hot oven, burnt dinner, a big mess and forty-five minutes of cleaning after the meal
- You understand–and are slightly shocked, scandalized, embarrassed and disappointed in the person talking–double entendre remarks
- You’re the one spouting half of those double entendre remarks
- You fall asleep in the middle of a movie and don’t feel disappointed
There ar many more, off-the-wall ways to know you’ve officially become an adult I’m sure. Feel free to add your comments below.