Good morning! Today I’ll be talking to Turner, the Banks family butler from Liberty for Paul. Please excuse my tardiness this morning, Turner. I seem to have been caught up in tasks such as laundry and cleaning. In the year 2011, the words: maid and mother have become interchangeable, I’m afraid. But I’m sure you understand household tasks better than anyone being a bulter and all, right?
Good. So tell our readers, what is it like being the butler for the Banks family?
Quite interesting really. There’s always something going on in that appallingly decorated house. Sometimes I’m allowed to admit a certain earl and sometimes I’m not. One time–
Excuse me for cutting in, sir. Please remember our stenographer over there is writing down everything you say and posting it for all the world to see. We wouldn’t wish to unintentionally get you fired for revealing too much private information.
Right you are. I’ll just say the house is always abuzz.
Abuzz? I wasn’t aware someone from the early 1800s knew that word.
We don’t. I’ve never heard it before. But I overheard you use it while you were talking to that little black box thing a moment ago and gleaned it meant a lot was going on. Did I use it incorrectly?
No. You used it correctly.
Good. Then it is safe to say, the Banks house is always abuzz with some sort of exciting activity.
Very good. Let’s move to our next question. Would you say, with the exception of during this interview, that one of your most important roles as a butler is to exercise discretion?
Yes. Always. I should hate to bring embarrassment or shame upon the Banks family by revealing something that might be considered…uh….shameful or embarrassing, such as the time I found young Liberty in a compromising situation where she was–
Remember our stenographer?
Of course. How could I forget her? She’s rather fetching, she is.
Yes, well, please remember she is taking notes of everything you say. Turner, be completely honest now, is there anything that might make you abandon discretion and spill all you know to an outside source?
Hmm. What about a thousand pounds?
One evening in December, around Christmas, I saw Miss Liberty heaping clothes–
Well, I guess now we know his price.
No, you don’t. I gave my story to Lady Algen for a tankard of ale and a plate of hot mutton.
All right, then. I think that does it for today. Enjoy your weekend and come back Monday for another character interview. Now that we’re off the record, dish the dirt.
I was walking down the hallway, trying to look busy when I saw a slightly open door and a pile of men’s clothes sitting just outside. Being the ever dutiful servant that I am, I brought them downstairs to be laundered. Then when Mr. and Mrs. Banks came home, I led them upstairs to greet their guest and when the door opened, there it was, Mr. Grimes and Miss Liberty were…